


Impending Doom

by defeatedbyabridge



Category: Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-19
Updated: 2012-03-19
Packaged: 2017-11-02 04:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/365225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defeatedbyabridge/pseuds/defeatedbyabridge
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe begins to suspect he's being targeted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impending Doom

"You said you wouldn't, Don-san!" Gai said with horror. "I didn't even write it!"

Don hushed him and strode up to Joe anyway. 

Joe narrowed his eyes at them, but took the sparkly blue card Don held out. He opened it, which resulted in him being enveloped in a cloud of glitter and perfume. Coughing, Joe waved a hand, then started reading, eyebrows going higher and higher. 

_Joe-san! You're so brave, and mighty, and manly! And you wear blue! I love blue. Even though I'm GokaiSilver. Anyway, I think you're really neat! Especially the way you're all dramatic and your hair kind of billows in the wind. OH I KNOW YOU NEED YOUR OWN THEME MUSIC. Someone as pretty as you should have something epic! I'll learn how to play an instrument and I'll compose it! In fact I'll learn how to play every single instrument there is just FOR YOU. It'll be called PIRATE JOE AND HIS POUTS AND LONG HAIR. BY THE WAY DID YOU KNOW I LOVE CAPITAL LETTERS AND LOTS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!! LOOK AT THEM, aren't they pretty? NEARLY AS PRETTY AS YOU, YOU PRETTY PRETTY MAN._

* * *

Joe woke up the next morning to another card stuck on his doorframe. 

_Hi, Joe! I love doing your laundry, and I think exclamation points are really boring, apparently. I'm quite boring too and I don't get excited enough even though I live the best life, but I could get more excited about you. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN._

Joe started to get the impression that something was going on. 

"Didn't come from me," Don muttered at breakfast, moving a tray and somehow managing to trail his hand across the back of Joe's neck at the same time.

* * *

Things got a little easier once the two of them resolved whatever the hell it was they were irritated at each other about this time. Joe suspected it was the spicecakes in the fridge, which'd disappeared one night. They both liked spicecakes.

Joe had another suspicion, which was that Marvelous liked spicecakes, too, so Gai and Don shouldn't be blaming each other anyway. . . but he wasn't about to get himself into trouble based on groundless speculation. Not when they were back to sitting together, cuddling, and being annoyingly pleased to be around each other. 

There were days when Joe found them incredibly obnoxious. How could people be so *happy*?

There were days when he found them quite endearing, but he wouldn't admit that to anyone. 

So. Things got a little easier, but more confusing. 

* * *

Joe turned to walk up the stairs, and found himself thudding into the wall with an armful of Gai. "Oops, sorry!" Gai giggled. He disentangled himself and walked off, and Joe touched his lips wonderingly. Had he -- had he _kissed_ him somewhere in all that?!

* * *

Surely Don wouldn't goose him in the kitchen.

Surely.

* * *

Marvelous shouted at Luka, who ducked a punch then looked up. He was on top of a hill, jerking his head over to her left.

. . .Joe was down. Why wasn't Marvelous-

Oh. Gai was an utter whirlwind in front of him, moving so fast she hadn't even seen him first time. Don was at the back, picking up Gormin and using them to hit other Gormin with. Okayyyy then. Looked like Marvelous owed her some money. 

Luka shrugged, checked on Ahim again automatically, not that Ahim needed her since Ahim was busy doing a dainty little somersault over a Gormin in preparation for daintily basically taking its head off, then Luka went back to her own battle. 

* * *

"You need to stay off your feet," Don scolded. "We'll sit on you if we have to. You got knocked out. You'll feel better tomorrow, but please stay in bed, Joe?" 

Gai plonked down two little bags inside Joe's bedroom door. Joe stared at them, eyes half-closed against the pain in his head. 

Luka began to laugh. 

Don and Gai bent their heads together and started muttering about supplies, and walked out together. 

"I'm screwed," Joe realised, sighing. He was being ineptly seduced. He really should've worked it out sooner, but in his defence they were both clearly crazy.

Luka grinned. "Possibly from both ends at once, if you play your cards right." 

The pillow hit the door as she closed it behind her. 

* * *

"What's going on?" Joe glared at them as well as he could around the headache when they came back in.

"We decided we want you, Joe-san," Gai piped up instantly, grinning that grin that looked far too big for his face. He brought one of the bags over from the door and began neatly placing supplies on the left side of Joe's bed. Pyjamas. A pillow (good, Joe hated sharing his pillows). A rumpled toy duck. A bottle of water. 

Joe looked to Don, wondering if there'd be any prevarication, any dissembling, any attempts at softening the bald outrageousness of that statement. Don just nodded and smiled. "That's right," he said calmly.

Ow. Stupid head. Joe let himself subside back into his pillows. "Do I get any say in this?" 

Don just sighed, but Gai brought the full force of his lower lip to bear. "If you really don't want us, Joe-san," he began, voice tremulous.

"No, it's fine," Joe cut him off. He managed a smile. "I could do worse." He'd known he was in trouble for some time, after all. Might as well give way to it. They were -- they were good people, after all, kindhearted, amusing, strong, tough in their own ways, even if Joe had never expected to end up in the middle of a uke sandwich. 

They beamed simultaneously and began getting ready for bed. Joe pretended he didn't hear Don muttering to Gai something about yes, you were right about the puppy face working. 

They climbed in eventually on either side. "Let me breathe, and don't steal the blankets," Joe instructed.

When he woke at dawn, his head felt better, the blankets were nowhere to be seen, but he wasn't cold because he had a pyjama-clad woobie curled up on either side of him. 

Maybe tonight he wouldn't bother giving them instructions.


End file.
